Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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