therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
