i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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