So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
