we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
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I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
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Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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