everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
