If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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