I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs