its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
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Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
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i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart