Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
