She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
