how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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