the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
