Nicole vs. Life
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize