Define "chronic" masturbator.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i now understand why vodka
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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