I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
