Even the bartender felt bad for me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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