Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
