Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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