names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
