Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize