Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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