What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
