batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
