Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
