Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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