i think my tv is drunk
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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