Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
