I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
