bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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