nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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