i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
