i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
