If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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