Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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