WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
