she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The maid of honor just puked.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
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me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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