I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
