you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize