Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize