The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
