How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
