Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize