I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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