Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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