I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It was confusing and full of hummus
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well I just put wine in my tea
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
