what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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