I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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