SEEEEXXX PLEASE
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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