your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You took a bar mat shot.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
