Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
