I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
