hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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