I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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