remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize